


Wake Me Up

by oxnate



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Jack and Teal'c steal each others lines, Teleportation, Trees, Wish Fulfillment, Wishful Thinking, indeed, superman underwear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 13:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8891956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oxnate/pseuds/oxnate
Summary: Faith is in Colorado when she accidentally makes a wish.





	

**Author's Note:**

> by Oxnate
> 
> Disclaimer: Do not own Buffy or Stargate SG-1. Title comes from the song Wake Me Up by Avicii. Inspiration comes from the TTH forums.
> 
> Daniels Trouble With Faith  
> « on: Sat, 12 Jan 08 15:29:04 »
> 
>  
> 
> _Set after Buffy Season 8, Faith and her group of roving trainee slayers stops off at the Colorado coffee shop for some much needed caffeine. Faiths spying a good looking guy enter the shop jokes to her companions “There’s a Guy I wish I could wake up to every morning”, forgetting you should never user the Wish word, now when ever Faith wakes up she’s were ever the guy who just so happens to be Daniel Jackson is. How is she going to explain to him why she appeared in his office in a highly secure military base sleeping on the floor Naked! OR you could write it so when Faith wakes up Daniel is instantly transported to her, up to you._
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: One change I’m making is that, while I could see Faith with Daniel, he’s not the kind of guy that women make that kind of wish about. (as far as I know) They make that wish about men who are slightly more impressive looking. And so...

Chapter 1.

Faith and her companions were enjoying a quiet Dinner/Breakfast at an all-night cafe. Dinner for them, breakfast to the rest of the world. It had been a slow night and no one was bleeding or covered in any demon blood/goop/intestines, so they got the treat of eating dinner out instead of at the safe-house. It was late in the year and still dark outside, but there was almost no one awake at that time of the morning for demons to snack on, so there was little reason for the Slayers to patrol right then. It seemed like the entire town was sleeping except for them and maybe four customers in the entire restaurant until headlights flashed across the windows of the diner at that moment and ruined the illusion.

“Morning, boys,” the lady behind the counter greeted the two guys as the bell above the door noted the entry of the occupants of the new vehicle. “Your usual coffees?”

“Please,” one of them nodded.

“Faith. Don’t look now, but a couple of hunks just came in,” one of the minis said.

Faith turned around to check out the two men despite the other Slayer asking her not to. Both men wore heavy coats and stocking caps against the Colorado chill, but were clearly athletic. She turned back to her group. “Meh, the guy buying is too nerdy for my tastes. But the big guy is definitely a tall drink of water. I wish I could wake up next to him every morning.” There was a sound at the other end of the diner. Faith leaned her head out of the booth to see what it was. The man who had just been sitting in the back corner was now gone. _Maybe he went to the bathroom while I was distracted?_ she shrugged. _Whatever._ It was time to catch some ‘Z’s. She yawned, stood, and stretched; making sure that the guys at the register got a good look at her flat abs and ample... assets. She smiled and winked at the guy in glasses who blushed and hurried out with four coffees. The big, black guy behind him showed no emotion on his face but still gave her a small nod before following his friend out. 

Faith smirked, she still had it. She dug out enough money to cover their meal plus a good tip and tossed it on the table before leading her own crew back out into the chilly morning for the quick jog back to their house to sleep through most of the day.

* * *

“What does ‘a tall drink of water’ mean to the Tauri”? Teal’c asked once they were driving. He had thought that water was for quenching one’s thirst or for bathing, but apparently the Tauri had other uses for it.

Daniel winced, he’d really hoped Teal’c hadn’t heard that. Explaining human mating rituals was always confusing for the alien and embarrassing for the human. “It’s slang. Basically, she thought you were cute. I’m not sure where the phrase comes from.” Also, he was slightly jealous that she hadn’t been at all impressed by him. He had come a long way since he’d first joined the SGC. Then again, compared to Teal’c, most humans were slightly less impressive.

“I have been thinking about courting a woman again sometime soon. I understand this is called ‘dating’. Perhaps this ‘Faith’ would be amicable?” Teal’c said.

“How did you know her name?” Daniel took his eyes off the road for a second.

“Her friend addressed her by that title. Did you not hear?” Teal’c said.

“I guess I wasn’t paying attention. Most humans ignore most of what is said around them that isn’t directed at them. It’s considered polite and there are just too many conversations going on all around us most of the time, that it’s just easier to tune them all out.”

“I see,” Teal’c did understand. But as a warrior who was still in what could be considered hostile territory, or at least unknown, he just didn’t have the option of ‘tuning out’ conversations that could hold valuable intelligence. “And the courting of her?”

“Um, well you’d have to find her again first. Colorado Springs isn’t exactly a small town. You should probably talk to General Hammond first too. You know, security issues and whatnot.”

Teal’c remained silent.

Neither spoke another word until they reached the parking lot for the Cheyenne Mountain complex. That was one thing that Daniel and Teal’c could do that neither of their teammates quite could, simply sit quietly on the drive to work. It was why Daniel drove Teal’c to work. Jack O’Neill liked to listen to Sports-Talk radio which was completely baffling to the alien. He understood cheering for your team in a competition, he even understood how that could carry over to cheering at a television set even though the athletes couldn’t hear you. But why the announcer on the radio felt the need to yell at his audience, Teal’c just didn’t get. Samantha Carter didn’t listen to the radio at all, however, she liked to ask him about his past. Teal’c was not a ‘sharer’ by nature and quickly defaulted to Daniel Jackson as his ride to work each morning.

In the line at the security checkpoint, they were only two people back from Jack, who was waiting for them as they cleared. “So, what do you think we’ll find today?” he asked, rocking back on his heels. 

“Trees. Lots of trees,” Teal’c deadpanned Jack’s own all-too-often response to similar questions.

Jack snorted and turned to walk side by side with them. He took the coffee marked as his from Daniel and snarked back a respectable imitation of Teal’c’s signature, “Indeed,” before he took a sip. 

Daniel hid his laughter behind a coughing fit.

* * *

There _were_ trees. Lots and lots of trees. And water. Currently, they were in a swampier part of the jungle. On the drier parts of land there were also ferns, grasses, and some nasty looking thorn bushes. And everywhere there were small biting insects not unlike mosquitoes. They weren’t entirely surprised, it was a jungle after all. Jack smacked a sting on the back of his neck. They were all wearing bug repellent. But it wasn’t working on _these_ bugs. The SGC actually had an entire team of scientists that studied alien insects and developed new repellents to guard against them. Except that the turn around time on that tended to be measured in months, not days, unless one of their previous concoctions ended up working on the new bugs. And the answers they were seeking, they needed now. Or a year ago, really. So, even though the temple they were looking for had been here for hundreds of years and abandoned for know one knew how long, this mission was urgent.

Behind him, Daniel stepped in a hole hidden by the mucky water. He was caught and hauled to his feet by Teal’c before his hands even hit the water.

“Thanks,” Daniel said.

A grunt was his only reply.

Another couple of hours of walking, through water and occasionally over dry land, later and they found the temple they were looking for. At least it was on dry ground. Jack called a halt. “Alright everyone. Take fifteen. Rest, relieve, then change your socks and check for hitchhikers.” Most planets also had leech analogues though most were smaller than Earth’s variety.

If there was one thing that Teal’c missed about being First Prime while out on missions, it was the shoes. As First Prime, his footwear had been custom made by the best shoemakers in Apophis’ domain. Shoes so light, you didn’t even know you were wearing them. Boots so comfortable you could march all day and never get a blister. On Earth, everyone wore pre-manufactured shoes or boots and Teal’c found it extremely difficult to find a pair that fit right. But he was a Jaffa warrior and would never voice his discomfort. Instead he trudged on. But it felt good to take the uncomfortable boots off when he could, under the guise of checking for ‘hitchhikers’.

Jack turned to take off his own pack to grab an energy bar and a swig of water. And then it happened. He wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. As Teal’c lifted his boot onto a downed tree to start untying it, a girl appeared out of nowhere next to him. Three guns were instantly drawn on her as she looked around in confusion. It was her clothes that kept everyone from firing. Not only was there not much to them, letting everyone know she was unarmed, but they were also very obviously of earth make. The Superman symbols on her boxers and the characters from the Gargoyles cartoon on her top made that abundantly clear.

She was up, on her feet, and in a fighting stance barely half a moment later. “Alright, what the fuck?” she yelled loud enough to startle some nearby birds.

“I was about to ask a similar question,” Jack raised an eyebrow. Probably with less swearing though. “What are you doing here?”

“Me!? I was asleep in my bed a second ago. Why did you bring me here?” she accused.

“Miss Faith, we did not bring you here,” Teal’c said, as calmly as ever.

The girl, Faith, turned and really looked at Teal’c for the first time. “You!? From the diner? What the hell is going on?” 

“I do not know. Please calm yourself, you are not in danger from us.”

Daniel stepped forward, his pistol already holstered, hand held out in a gesture of peace. “That’s right.”

“The other coffee-boy,” Faith recognized.

“You two, uh, _know_ this gi- uh, woman?” He and Carter were also lowering and slightly relaxing their grips on their own weapons. Though the slings they were connected to kept them on their chests and within easy reach should she turn hostile.

“We, uh, kinda met at the diner this morning when we were getting coffee,” Daniel explained.

“Which totally doesn’t explain how you knew my name,” Faith glared at Teal’c and tensed for attack again.

“I listened. It was the name your friend called you.”

“Oh.” Faith relaxed again. “Okay, well you need to stop taking things so literally. Cause when I said ‘I wi...” she tapered off and let her head sink to her chest in defeat. Long, dark locks obscured her face. “I said ‘I wish I could wake up next to you’.” Her head popped up and she flipped her hair out of her face. “Okay, that explains that. Now, how did we get to the fucking jungle? Cause last time I checked, there ain’t no jungles in Colorado. Just cold and sometimes snow.”

“What exactly explains _what_?” Jack asked. “Cause last time _I_ checked,” Jack parroted back at her, “saying ‘I wish’ doesn’t make it so.”

Faith shrugged. “Does where I come from.”

“I wish I had a million dollars!” Jack yelled at the sky. Four people looked at him incredulously. “What? She said it worked. It was a test.”

“Not for good stuff, dufus,” Faith said. “It only works for bad stuff.” She ran an eye over Teal’c appraisingly, “Though, I’m trying to see the downside here.”

“We’re on another planet,” Daniel blurted out. Jack glared at him, but the damage was done. Besides, it would have been hard to explain the Stargate and the base when they brought her back to Earth without mentioning that. But still...

“Oh. You mean like aliens and shit? Cool!” Faith started looking around herself with renewed interest. “Hm. Temple. So are you guys like, Indiana Jones meets G.I. Joe and Star Trek?”

Sam made an interested noise, answering for everyone. Everyone else was a little taken aback by the complete acceptance of Daniel’s explanation. Usually there was a lot more denial and arguing before people accepted the truth. Usually only settled by a person’s first trip through the gate. But this girl was pretty bright. She had taken the assertion that they were on another planet, their uniforms, and the nearby temple and come up with a coherent explanation that wasn’t too far wide of the mark. Easy acceptance of strange phenomena and the ability to think on her feet. The girl was going to have to be read into the Stargate program when they got back. And Sam was always on the lookout for women they could recruit. The fighting stance she’d taken so soon after waking up had been good as well, speaking to some sort of martial arts training.

“Well, you guys probably have something you want to get from there. So go ahead. I’m gonna chill here. Anyone know what time it is back in Colorado?” Faith sat down on the log Teal’c had stepped on to untie his shoes. 

“12:37 in the afternoon,” Teal’c answered. He looked down and noticed that one of his shoes was still untied from when Faith had appeared. He was also intrigued by the woman. She had noticed, but not commented on, his tattoo of the false god.

“Damn it’s early. Yeah, I’m just going to chill.”

“12:30 is early?” Sam asked.

“It is when you work nights,” Faith replied with an enigmatic smile. “We were finishing dinner when the boys were getting their morning java.”

“Yeah, not happening,” Jack drawled. “We’re taking you back to Earth where you can tell us exactly how you ended up on an alien planet. Oh, and sign a whole bunch of forms so that you can’t tell anyone about this, ever.”

Faith just snorted. “Yeah, not happening,” she parroted back at Jack. “I like it here.”

“Faith. This is an uninhabited planet. You’ll be stuck here if you don’t come back with us. Believe me, the boredom alone will probably kill you. Not having anyone to talk to, it eats at you,” Dr. Jackson said kindly.

“Whatever. Go do your Temple of Doom thing. I’ll be fine,” Faith asserted.

“The mission is scrubbed.” Jack said, just in case anyone on his team had any doubts. He moved forward to grab Faith by the arm. She jumped out of his reach and back into a fighting stance. “And you _are_ coming with us,” he told her sternly. It wasn’t _exactly_ a threat though his hand was off the grip of his P-90 again. He wanted to let her know he was serious.

Faith sighed angrily and looked at the sky. “Sorry to wake you up, Red, but I think it’s time to go.” With that, she pushed a button on her watch.

Jack had raised his P90 when she pushed the button but slowly lowered it again when nothing happened. “Was something sup-” And then she disappeared again. This time in a flash of white that hadn’t happened when she had appeared. It was not the flash of an Asgard beam. It was more like a photographer’s flash when you were getting your picture taken. A blink and then she was gone. “Back to the gate everyone!” he called.

* * *

Willow was on her hands and knees in front of Faith, who was gently rubbing her shoulders. Willow’s nose was also dribbling out blood onto the concrete floor. “Goddess. Where were you? It felt like I was pulling you across the entire galaxy!”

As Faith related her tale, Willow’s eyes got wider and wider until the end. She placed a hand on the Slayer’s shoulder. “Next time, unless they’re trying to kill you on another planet. Let them take you back to Earth before you call for extraction. Please?”

Faith chuckled and nodded. Willow might be Super-Witch nowadays but apparently, pulling someone across the entire galaxy had pushed her to her limit. 

“Alright. You’re going to have to stay here a night or two until I can rest a bit. One of my apprentices could probably do it, but I want a chance to examine any leftover effects from the wish you made. D’hoffryn knows better than to mess with us, so this might be something else. I’m going back to bed. You get to call Buffy and tell her your story and then call your house and explain it to them, too. After that, one of the secretaries will find you a bed to rest in until I’m ready to look at you.”

* * *

“And you’re sure she wasn’t just an illusion?” General George Hammond asked while slowly rubbing his temples. He had a headache from the marathon debriefing and the aspirin he took just weren’t helping. Why was it always SG-1 that ran into the weirdest stuff out in space?

“Danny took a mold of her footprint. It’s pretty clean; nice, moist dirt made for good tracks,” Jack said. “Might be good for identifying her again if we come across her, you know, Cinderella style.”

“Does that mean I get to play the part of Prince Charming, placing the glass slipper on her foot?” Teal’c asked.

Everyone was quiet for a few seconds, more surprised that Teal’c made a pop-culture reference than anything. “Sure, big guy,” Jack finally nodded. Teal’c seamed pleased.

“I’m sorry. I’m just finding this a bit more far fetched than the things we normally deal with,” George said.

There were no arguments from the team.

And then from behind Teal’c came a somewhat familiar cursing. “Aw, _hell_ no.”


End file.
